Embracing Destiny Read online

  “I’m not here as your enemy, nor am I here to hurt you. I am here to take those you lose in this fight from the agony they will undoubtedly know without my ability to end their needless suffering when they fall. I’m merely here to ease their passing to the Otherworld and ensure they’re not cursed to walk endlessly through the shadows of Faery and the dead. Good luck, Daughter of Danu, Queen of the Horde, and Goddess of the Fae. May you survive this war to prosper and create many more pretty little girls, like the little one with eyes the color of fresh honey, sparkling from within. She is a rare beauty, sweet goddess, hold her tightly.” Thanatos vanished into a plume of smoke that billowed into the air the moment he spoke the last of his chilling words.

  I swallowed down anger at his parting words. He’d seen my daughter, and that bothered me. Thanatos was one of the gods of death in mythology, so what the fuck was he doing here? Faery wasn’t his playground or where he belonged. It wasn’t his monkeys or his circus, yet he’d been right beside me. How was that even possible, and how was he allowed to intervene with this world? There were rules, and if he broke them, that meant he could be removed from Faery.

  “He cannot stay away for long. Thanatos will be drawn to this world once souls begin weeping to be harvested. What are your orders, Synthia?”

  “I will prepare my children to go with you. First, I want you to do what you offered. If I die, I must know my family will go on. I need you to go to the Fates and be certain they can see their future with this path, should we choose to follow it. All of them. Make sure they see my babes and my husband’s futures, even if I am no longer in them.” Turning, I peered into the bedroom, where Ryder and my children awaited me. I could hear the happiness in their laughter, which was music to my soul. “Once you have completed your task, return for my kids, and I will poison Ryder myself.”

  “If he turns, and you don’t tell him? He may never forgive you, and may even hate you for doing this to him.” Her warning was clear. “Can you live without him?”

  “No, and that’s the point, isn’t it? Hate, I can endure. His death would make me into a monster. I would never return from that, and we both know it. Destiny has already told me the Fates have yet to see my future. I’m not scared to die or frightened of the unknown. I am afraid of living without that man at my side. I have not walked through the fires of Hell to lose him. If it’s a choice between Ryder hating me or dying, there’s only one option with which I could live. His sense of betrayal will lessen in time. We are endless. We have all the time in the world. After this war is over, we will deal with the consequences of what I’ve done. Now go, do as I have asked, creature. I’ll have the children ready to leave with you when you return.”

  She nodded, and I studied as her slim form vanished into a heavy mist that a powerful gust carried through the air allowing her to disappear into the dark skies above the stronghold. Her ominous warning echoed in my ears for a long moment. I made my way into the bedroom, stopping to gaze lovingly at the family we’d created as my gentle beast played with his little beasties.

  Smiling softly, I watched as Ryder tickled Kahleena while she squealed with laughter, pointing at Zander, demanding her father get her brothers instead.

  Cade silently observed them from where he rested against the pillows, peering down at them with large violet irises as his black curls curved around his chubby cheeks. Cade was more intense than his siblings.

  His pensive stare missed nothing, and he reminded me of Zahruk, always ready for battle, should the need arise. He’d traded places with Zander, who was no longer the somber and carefree one of the triplets. My brother Liam had a lot to do with it, and that was something I’d never be able to thank him enough over.

  “Daddy,” Kahleena panted out of breath, snorting as she pointed her tiny finger at Zander, who had crawled up behind Ryder to attack him. Her golden eyes sparkled with a multitude of galaxies within their amber depths as she laughed loudly.

  “I got you!” he shouted, jumping on his father’s back to save his sister from the tickles her father loved to give. It had become Ryder’s favorite sound, the laughter of the wee beasties as he tortured them playfully. This was the light in our darkest hour. Their giggles and sounds of their happiness were everything good in the world. They would drive us through the upcoming war, reminding us of what we fought to protect.

  “Is that so, my little princeling?” Ryder growled, flipping Zander upside down beside his sister to tickle him.

  “Cade! Save us,” Kahleena pleaded urgently, her giggles enough to work the corners of my mouth as I slowly made my way to where they played.

  “Momma,” Cade whispered softly, his voice barely audible. “Is the man in the shadows going to take you from us?”

  Ryder’s golden eyes were slowly swallowed by the obsidian beauty of the beast’s stare, peering into the darkened corners of the room, searching for unknown enemies. He pulled up from where he played with the children, staring at me over his shoulder, watching while I slowly walked toward him. “Is something wrong, Pet?”

  “No, he was just an old friend come to check on us and make sure we were okay,” I assured him gently as I settled on the bed, stroking Ryder’s sharp jawline with the tips of my fingers. He leaned over, nipping my ear as the kids studied us. “It seems our bed is rather full of little beasties tonight, Fairy,” I murmured huskily. Already our babes were children, and time within the City of Gods would take whatever childhood they had left away from them—and us. It wasn’t a choice any longer, not when war marched toward us by the minute. Not with the message Thanatos had given before dissolving into shadows, vanishing without causing a disturbance in the air.

  “I think we should add a few more,” Ryder countered as a wicked glint filled his dark stare. He leaned closer, a devilish smile curving his sinfully full mouth. “How about we get started on that right now?”

  “Eww, he’s going to kiss mommy!” Zander warned as he scrunched up his face in disgust. Blue depths the color of freshly polished sapphires examined Ryder as if he were about to do precisely what he’d suggested. “Get him!” he shouted, and I laughed at the look of panic that flashed over Ryder’s face as Cade and Kahleena moved to do as their brother had ordered.

  “Gods,” Ryder chuckled, holding one on each arm while Zander held onto his neck. “They’re attacking me, shouldn’t you be helping?”

  I stared into Ryder’s golden eyes before moving my gaze to Kahleena, who squealed with laughter as hers sparkled with merriment. I leaned over, taking advantage of their conquering the mighty King of the Horde by kissing him gently, brushing my lips over his before pulling back as the children made gagging sounds.

  “Didn’t you just say you wanted to make more?” I crossed my arms to stare at him pointedly with a wide grin I couldn’t hold back.

  “Can’t we just practice making them?” His eyes glowed while his eyebrows wiggled playfully.

  “I love you, Fairy,” I whispered huskily. I smiled before leaning over, kissing his lips again as our children cringed. Ryder pulled me down onto the bed and then leaned over me, smirking roguishly as the kids laughed and attacked us both. I’d just let out a hoot of laughter when the alarm screamed out a warning.

  “Our kids,” I said, sitting up.

  “Take them to the tower,” he ordered through clenched teeth, standing to release the beast that had been observing us play from within Ryder’s form. I stood abruptly, collecting the children as Zahruk entered the room with Sevrin and Savlian.

  “Come, my darling little monsters.” I grabbed hands, collecting them as we moved out into the hallway, finding Olivia and Ciara there waiting beside their mates. They stood on tiptoes to deliver soft kisses to their men before falling into step behind me. Both women were heavy with child, and we expected deliveries to come any day now. Cade and Kahleena each took a hand while Zander latched onto Ciara’s, gazing up
at her in wonder.

  “Oh, my,” Olivia whispered, grasping onto the wall with one hand as the other rubbed her swollen belly.

  “Olivia?” I asked softly, noting the way her eyes pinched together in pain.

  “I’m fine.” It was a lie; her face lost color, but she slowly gained her footing and started forward.

  My stare moved to Ristan, who examined her slow progression from the bedroom where Ryder was glamouring on armor. Something had him worried. He studied her form with a look of horror and fear while she held the wall moving away from him.

  “Protect her, Synthia.” Ristan shook his head, his gaze swirling as a frown tugged at his mouth. “I cannot lose her.”

  “Ciara, no babe without me,” Blane warned, studying the overly pregnant female beside me while Zander glared at Blane, crushing on his auntie something fierce. “I love you, my world.” Eventually, I’d have to break it to Zander that he couldn’t marry his very married auntie.

  “No. No one says goodbye today. Do you hear me? No one says goodbye before going to battle; it is bad luck. Let’s go, ladies. Darynda, help Olivia. Mira, help Zander with Ciara.” I took Fury from his mother and tucked him into my arm. “Kahleena and Cade, with me now,” I instructed firmly, straightening my spine against the worry forming in the hallway. “Everyone hold hands and follow mommy, just like we practiced.”

  I turned back a moment, staring into golden depths that smiled at me with pride burning within them. “I love you, Fairy. See you soon.”

  “I’ll always come back to you, Pet.”

  I swallowed past the lump that formed in my throat. My heart hammered against my ears, deafening the sound of the drums in the courtyard as Ryder sifted from the room, vanishing from sight.

  Death stepped from the shadows, watching me before his eyes lowered to my children and the women moving with us down the hallway. He bowed his blond head, turning to disappear back into the darkness without a word.

  Chapter Two

  I was good under pressure. I was amazing in chaos, but the fact that my babes were in danger horrified me. The idea that Ryder was heading out to face an unknown enemy left me feeling numb. All because some ancient law forbade the queen and king from riding into battle together.

  It was medieval bullshit that needed to be rewritten immediately, but the impending war was putting a kibosh on those details at the moment. One of us had to remain in residence, or one of our heirs if they were of age to rule. Sure, before Ryder had taken his throne, Lachlan played his placeholder, but since taking our vows, the law was in play. I hated it. It all but had me ringing the dinner bell, wearing mom jeans and an apron.

  I stopped at the door, counting heads as the women entered the room one by one. Turning, I peered down the hallway as the sound of footfalls echoed from the other end. Lilith and Icelyn appeared with their arms full of little ones.

  “Darynda, with me,” I said urgently, moving toward the women who had dirty children behind them. Mixed fae orphans were being dropped off daily at castles throughout the many kingdoms as a result of the mage war currently ravaging the countryside. Ours had been overrun with little babes, changelings, and other creatures’ offspring lately. It looked like we were building an army of filthy but cute tiny urchins.

  Once I reached Icelyn, I took the tiny bundle from her arms as her hand moved to her swollen belly. Her face scrunched up, and a frown tugged at my lips. Darynda picked up a small changeling and held him to her hip before catching my eyes over Icelyn’s ice-blonde head. Glancing at Icelyn’s belly, Darynda’s mouth flattened into a straight line, and she absently worried her bottom lip as we ushered everyone into the protection of the tower.

  When we reached the door, I spun on my heel, tilting my head to the right while I used my inhuman hearing to see if anyone else was rushing toward us. Leaning forward, I peered into the room, gazing at the multitude of little ones along with the few heavily pregnant women getting settled inside.

  I silently stepped inside the room and placed my hands against the wall, waiting as the glowing blue runes sealed us into the safety of the heavily warded tower. It was Ryder’s version of a safe room. We had ample supplies and multiple rooms and nooks that could be filled with people.

  It was also his idea of a pretty prison to hold us, so when the big bad warriors went to war, us damsels could sit around drinking tea and eating biscuits. As proof, Darynda was taking coffee and tea orders. Ryder was one stage above a caveman, and yet I loved him all the more for it.

  The main room was big enough to fit a large assembly, but with the babes and children huddled together, it still felt confined.

  I exhaled, regaining my composure, then noticed Olivia rubbing the small of her back, which bothered me.

  Ciara, on the other hand, was bouncing Fury on her ample, protruding belly while he giggled.

  Icelyn stood away from them with Lilith at her side; they’d bonded over the similarities of their former lives. They both came from the lesser courts, and as such, had given us a wide berth. We were trying to close that gap, wanting them to realize sooner rather than later, that they were family.

  “Keely, Meriel, and Faelyn, we need food placed on the tables in the other room. See that it is prepared and set out so the little beasties can eat before they start gnawing our legs or something else. Darynda, make sure the other handmaidens prepare the bedrooms for our guests; worry about tea and biscuits later,” I instructed low but clearly. Clapping my hands, I plastered a smile on my face, hoping to reassure everyone that everything was going to be okay.

  My chest rose and fell as my gaze flitted around the room, never settling on a person or object too long. I worried about what was happening outside the walls of the fortress. We had no way to communicate outside the barrier of the stronghold to learn what was going on, which was a huge design flaw. We only had cell reception within the castle walls. I did better in battle than I did being locked in some tower like a damsel in distress. It wasn’t sitting well with me. I needed to know Ryder was okay, and I wasn’t good at waiting idly by while he fought our battles without me.

  Silently, Ristan’s mom, Alannah, slipped in beside Olivia, scrutinizing her through a silver glare that matched her son’s. For a petite demon, Alannah sure loved to stir up shit. Ryder’s mother, Kiera, played similar games, forcing him to move her to the Dark Kingdom.

  She still spoke of dark omens and refused to keep her distance from the children and me. It didn’t matter that I loved her son. She only spoke of how, together, we would destroy the world. Not to mention, she had an affinity for randomly attacking me, as well as Ryder, who she called Alazander, accidentally mistaking the two.

  It concerned me that so many of the women here were heavy with child. There was a good chance that eventually, each would need to shelter-in-place when the alarm sounded. Judging by their size and slow running due to their pregnant bellies, we had to find a better way for them to get here. While having the women shelter-in-place wasn’t ideal, it was the best we could do, considering their delicate situations.

  I poked my head into one of the rooms and saw Kahleena holding court like she’d been born to be queen. The orphans sat dutifully around her, gaping as they hung on her every word while she leisurely sipped her tea.

  I leaned against the wall, taking in all the kids who were abandoned on our steps. Zander leered while he watched the boys with a furrowed brow, his tiny fists balled at his sides. Cade mirrored his stance, one brow lifted to his hairline as his sister described where they’d hidden, the Blood Kingdom, in vivid detail to all the children surrounding her, hanging on her every word.

  “Uncle Liam, while scarred by my grandfather, fights like a knight,” Kahleena explained, swinging her arms like she held a sword as her tea spilled on the skirt of her dress. “I plan to be a fighter one day, just like my momma.”

  “Ar
en’t you a girl?” one of the young boys asked.

  “Girls can fight, too,” Kahleena huffed, rolling her eyes toward the heavens for patience. She turned to me silently, waiting for a response, and when my lips turned up in the corners, she pointed at me. “My mom rips the throats out of her enemies, and she’s a girl.”

  Oh, shit. I hadn’t been ready for that to come out of her lips.

  “She’s not normal,” the boy exclaimed.

  “Take it back!” Zander’s face reddened, and his nostrils flared as he gripped his tiny fists so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

  “Children,” I muttered, exhaling slowly as I rubbed my temples. “There is enough fighting in our world, let us not add to it, sweet ones. Who is hungry?” I asked, changing the subject before the children ended up brawling with a horde of orphans. At their nodded replies, I heard a deep chuckle, and my attention turned to Alannah.

  “Follow me, wee ones. Let’s see what the king and queen have placed upon our table, shall we?” Alannah’s pretty eyes swung to Olivia, brow raised in question. “Would you like a heart from one of the orphans? My grandchild must be half-starved with your inability to feast on flesh.”

  “There is no need for that. Ristan feeds me well, Alannah.” With a saccharine smile, Olivia pushed her red curls away from her face. “He blends the hearts with fruit to remove the bitterness. In fact, I had one just this morning.”

  I shivered at the thought of eating hearts and moved to my children. Hunching down to their level, I stared at Kahleena, who frowned, causing my mouth to mirror hers.

  “Not everyone is like us, daughter of mine. Women were not created to fight as men, and while some of us do it, not everyone will agree that we should, and that is okay. It’s an opinion. Everyone has their views regarding what is expected of women. Even if you don’t agree, they are entitled to their point of view. It’s important for people’s opinions to be heard. Even though I am your mother and queen, not everyone agrees with what I have done, Zander,” I whispered, a smile lifting across my mouth.