Embracing Destiny Read online

  “I’m brave,” she sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her arm.

  “You are. You’re the daughter of the Queen and King of the Horde, both fierce warriors. You’re going to be just fine, my little ones.”

  “Stop hogging the children, Ristan,” Ciara said, holding Phoenix in her arms while Blane struggled with Fury, who itched to get down. Blane set him on the floor, and we watched as Fury crawled to Zander, moving to stand while holding on to him.

  “Hi, Fury,” Zander said, pushing his cheek against Fury’s mouth, causing it to open, and he began sucking on Zander’s cheek. The entire room laughed while Zander made a displeased face but held still, allowing Fury to give him big, sloppy kisses. “Thanks,” he stated, wiping it off when Fury moved to Kahleena and Ristan and cooed, making sounds while he tugged at Kahleena’s hair.

  Kahleena didn’t complain when Fury pulled hard, wrapping her arm around him before she kissed his forehead. “Little Fury, I love you too,” she sniffed, holding him closer while Cade surveyed the room silently from Ryder’s lap. The moment Fury started toward Cade, Kahleena stood up and held her hands out for Phoenix. Ciara set her tiny mewling infant daughter in Kahleena’s arms, and she gazed down at the babe. “She’s so tiny.”

  “You used to be that tiny,” I whispered, fighting the tears that flooded my vision as the reality of what was happening hit me. I’d lost their childhood because of the danger they’d been in, and now I would lose everything else. “You were this tiny little thing with huge golden eyes that never cried or complained. You just stared up at everyone with this look as if you’d known them forever.”

  “But I was just born, like Nix.” Kahleena leaned over, kissing Phoenix’s forehead before allowing Ciara to take her back. Kahleena’s tiny arms wrapped around Ciara’s legs, and she smiled at me. Hugging her aunt tightly, she peered up and watched as Ciara righted the babe in her arms carefully.

  “Nix, huh?” I asked.

  “It’s what we will call her when she is older. She won’t enjoy being called a firebird, and will wish to be called Nix instead,” Kahleena shrugged as if it was no big deal as she released Ciara’s leg. “Ciara will have a lot of babies by then, and Nix will be one of many.”

  “How do you know that?” I asked, smiling.

  “Because I’ve seen the future,” Kahleena said innocently with a faraway look, as if she was pulling up visions she’d seen. “It’s both happy and sad.”

  The entire room went silent as everyone looked at Kahleena like she’d just told them the sun had exploded, but by tomorrow morning, a new one would shine in its place. A shiver rippled up my spine, my throat tightened, and my stomach clenched with unease.

  “You’ve seen the future?” I asked, lips trembling. Kahleena looked around the room, smiling as tears filled her pretty amber eyes.

  “You will all be sad, but you’ll be okay. Those who die shall remain dead. You cannot change it, which will make you very sad, mommy. Those stars were only meant to shine for a while, but they are burning out. New stars will come to take their place. Grandma promised me.”

  “Which grandma?” I asked thickly.

  “Your mommy, she’s everywhere, in all of us. More so in me, because I make her smile,” she shrugged. “She says I am like you were, and full of curious questions.” Kahleena’s head cocked to the side, and her smile glowed before she straightened with a soft shrug of her shoulders. “It’s time to go; the gates will close soon.”

  “Kahleena,” I whispered, pulling her into my arms. “What else did Danu say?”

  “She said nothing is certain. Chosen destinies do not shape our lives. The path we choose to follow determines our destinies, shaped by the choices we make in the moment. Choose the right choices, mommy. Don’t make angry ones, because those are ones you will get wrong. She said to tell you that her love wasn’t wrong. Her love was beautiful. It was beautiful enough to create an entire world, to mirror how her soul felt. Whatever that means—and oh, you have to forgive him. You have to forgive daddy for what he will do because without forgiveness, you won’t win.” She shrugged in my hold. “Oh yeah, and she said good job for fixing daddy.”

  I kissed her head and stared at Ristan, who observed us. He knew what it meant to see the future and what damage it could do. It could mess up things, but mostly, it could change her. It could turn Kahleena into a seer of future events. It could also make her a target because seers were rare, and the only other one in the history of Faery was Ristan.

  As the others flooded the room, I silently prayed Danu hadn’t projected her ability onto her blood relatives and that Kahleena didn’t have the sight, because if Danu had, even ending the war wouldn’t stop the danger to Kahleena.

  Chapter Twenty

  I sat in the war room beside Ryder in silence. The mood of the entire day was somber, and nothing worked to remove that feeling as we gazed at the map, which was still spelled, alerting Bilé to every marker placed upon its surface. Frowning, I glared down, trying to figure out if we were marching into a trap, or worse, to face off with a god hell-bent on destroying us all. I hated the unknown. Having no control over what was going to happen caused an ache that sat like a rock in my chest.

  “Take Ryder off of the map,” I blurted, turning my wide eyes to him. “Bilé doesn’t know he’s still alive. No one outside this stronghold knows Ryder didn’t drink that potion.”

  Golden eyes stared into mine as a smile played over his lips. “Zahruk, move my piece from the map and place yours into my position as the leader of this assault. Let the mages think they succeeded. Afterward, move the main forces of our troops into the valley there.” Ryder pointed at a location on the map.

  We remained silent as Ryder furrowed his brow in thought before speaking again. “The cliffs near the Valley of the Fir Dolcha are wide enough that the mages would have to come within them to reach us. If we let them think we were here,” he pointed to the middle of the rough terrain, “when we take the surrounding advantage, it will trap them in the valley, and they’d have no place to escape us or run from the troops while we’re on the high ground. We could take out a large portion of their army before they ever realized we weren’t in the valley waiting to be slaughtered.”

  “We can only use this once,” I pointed out softly. “We need to make it count.”

  “Move a large force here, into the stronghold,” Ryder said, frowning as he pointed at a position on the map. “I won’t have the mages thinking it is unprotected while we make our move. Place the other half of the pieces in the Valley of the Fir Dolcha. It will show our army is divided, but the mages will likely march their troops toward the biggest target. Place Synthia’s figurine in the valley as well and show them the Queen of the Horde is exposed with her troops and you as her guard.

  “The Elite Guard needs to be separated as well,” he mused, watching as Zahruk placed the wooden pieces around the map. “If this works, we may have the end of this war in our hands before it even starts. I will call in the oaths I’ve been collecting over the years, and Lucian, his men, and Callaghan will join me as we march into the valley. I want this fortress locked down as if it was under siege. Fyra and the female dragons can remain here, within the fortress to help defend it. I need the rest of you with me. Take tonight to say goodbye to your families, because tomorrow morning, we march to war.”

  Ryder turned, regarding me as if something else was bothering him, but whatever it was, he kept to himself. He extended his hand, and I accepted it.

  “I want to go with you. I hate being separated from you.” I frowned, forcing my brows together between my eyes while worrying my lip, staring at him with a fire burning in my gaze.

  “Not this time, Pet. The women will remain here, and if this goes wrong and the mages don’t fall for the ruse, I need you to protect them. The men can’t focus without knowing their families are s
afe. Our children are safe, and we need to make sure their families remain alive and safe from this fight too. I need you here because if I am wrong, there’s no telling what will happen. Eris didn’t deliver our children to Bilé, which may have alerted him to the fact she failed.”

  “Ryder…”

  “We’ve been over this already, Synthia. You know the law. One of us must remain within these walls,” he growled, lifting my chin to stare into my worried eyes. “I can’t be in both places. Don’t argue it, please. Go tell the chef to cook a feast for the men who will leave tomorrow for battle. It might be awhile before we can return if the mages fall for our trap.”

  “Fine,” I muttered, unhappy about being left behind yet again.

  I understood the need for my presence at the castle, hence why I wasn’t arguing the matter with Ryder. I was still being placed on the sidelines, and we both knew it, but I was the only one of us wanting to dispute the law. It would be suicide to attack the horde on our own turf, which the mages knew.

  The other courts were supposed to be gathering here within the week. Adam had come to say goodbye to the kids, reassuring me he was coming back the moment the Dark Kingdom was ready to join him. Liam told me Madisyn and Lasair were gathering the Blood Warriors to march to our fortress already, leaving Liam to guard the palace since the horde wasn’t the only kingdom that had the stronghold decree in effect.

  This entire world needed to update their laws since most had ideals on women being weak, and repeatedly we showed them otherwise.

  Inside the kitchen, I instructed the staff on what to serve during the feast and which wine and spirits would complement the meal. I carefully made my way to the bedroom I shared with Ryder while bracing myself against the wall, struggling against the burning pain that started back up. It was a lot worse lately.

  Barely inside the door, I dropped and gasped as the pain ripped through me. My vision swam with stars as everything ached and burned until I trembled. I felt something wet on my face and wiped at it, staring at the blood that was warm against my fingertips. I groaned as violet flashes of color ignited behind my eyelids while nausea pushed at the back of my mouth.

  I’d be willing to bet that Bilé and his merry band of mages had just slaughtered numerous fae while we’d been plotting against him. Pain from the fae dying was becoming more frequent, and it worried me endlessly.

  It took everything within me to continue standing upright, planning against Bilé with the men. Whatever the murderous prick had been up to, it hadn’t been horrible until I’d left Ryder’s side. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he was attacking defenseless villages on his way here; proof of that was the refugees showing up every morning.

  We’d sent men to the outlying areas around the horde stronghold, begging our people to come inside the safety of the walls that protected us, but they refused.

  “Synthia?” Darynda entered the room, finding me on the floor. “Help!” she screamed, rushing to me.

  “I’m okay,” I mumbled, carefully peeling myself off the tile. Standing to my full height, I smiled to reassure her I was indeed fine, only to bend over as more piercing, debilitating pain sliced through me. Darynda shot forward, catching me before I could drop to my knees.

  “Darynda?” Zahruk’s voice echoed through the hall before he entered the doorway, pausing as he took in the situation. He sifted to where she struggled to keep me upright, picking me up, rushing to the bed, and setting me down carefully. “What the fuck happened?”

  The room erupted in power as Ryder entered, staring down at me from beside the bed. “Who did this to you?” Ryder demanded, turning a lethal glare on Darynda as power continually filled the bedroom until it began to suffocate everyone.

  “I found her like that on the floor, My King,” she cried through trembling lips, wringing her hands in the skirt of her dress nervously.

  “I’m okay, guys.” I hoped if I said it enough, they’d hear me. I struggled to sit up, but large, strong hands pushed me down against the mattress until I was flat on my back. Glaring up at Ryder, I watched as worry flooded the amber eyes peering down at me with fear.

  “What happened?” Ryder asked, using his thumbs to push the blood away from my eyes. His hand cupped my cheek, and he studied me carefully as if he could see what was wrong if he stared hard enough.

  “Bilé or the mages just killed a large number of fae.” I allowed Ryder to lift my head as I sipped from the glass he held against my lips. I drank slowly as fire burned and banked in his obsidian depths, igniting amber stars.

  “I know their deaths have been causing you pain, but how long has it been happening to this extreme?” His deep, rumbling growl filled the room as his thumb wiped the water from my lips before he rested me against the insane amount of pillows he had just glamoured onto the bed.

  I gazed up at him with a sad smile playing across my mouth. “It started happening more often a few months ago, but this one started earlier today and became worse than any other time. I’m guessing we just lost an entire village of people in a matter of moments. My body weakened quickly with the number of lives that were taken.”

  “You stood beside me all fucking day while in pain, and you said nothing to me?” Ryder asked, frowning as hurt entered his gaze. “You should have said something, woman.”

  “There’s nothing you could do to keep it from happening. What good does it do to tell you when I am in pain if you can’t change it? Telling you will only make you worry, and I can handle the pain on my own, Ryder. You have to focus on the armies and where they’re needed, not worrying about me.”

  “Get Eliran up here, now,” Ryder ordered in a harsh tone, sitting beside me as concern etched the lines of his beautiful, masculine features.

  “Do not get Eliran, Zahruk,” I growled, watching as he stared between us before stepping to turn on his heel to do as Ryder had demanded. “If you pull Eliran away from people who need him, I will stab you, asshole!” Zahruk’s sapphire eyes held mine while he warred with indecision on whose orders to follow.

  “You’re bleeding from your nose and crying blood, Syn. It’s not open for fucking debate. You’re my wife, and it is my job to keep you safe and in good health, which I cannot do if you won’t tell me when you are in fucking pain!” Ryder’s growl vibrated through me as he opened his mouth to shout at his brother for not having done as he had instructed. Worse than that, there was an accusation in his depths that sat ill with me.

  “You’re not listening to me,” I snapped irritably, sitting up to accept the cloth that Darynda handed me. “There is no medicine Eliran can give me to stop this pain from happening. I’m not sick, Ryder. I am the Goddess of the Fae, and they are being slaughtered by the thousands daily. I feel every single one of their lives ending. It creates an aching pain within me, one that hurts for a short time, and then vanishes.

  “When Faery hurts, I feel it too. I am a part of this place and its people, as was my mother. A doctor cannot fix what is wrong with me because there’s nothing to fix. The only way to save me from this pain is for us to end this war. It won’t kill me; weaken me, yes. Danu made sure that we could leave Faery if the need arose, and take the people someplace else. Bilé is aware that I am connected to Faery, and he’s trying to weaken me. We have to take him out of play, and we have to do it soon.”

  “I can’t leave you like this.” He rubbed his hand down his face while studying me.

  “I can lead the army,” Zahruk announced, frowning while taking in Ryder’s shoulder, and the way he cradled my face as if I was a child.

  “Stop that this minute.” I pushed Ryder back enough to look him in the eyes. “You have that monstrous bastard at a disadvantage, one we need to capitalize on. There is nothing you can do here. You being here won’t end this war, and that’s a fact. You have to take this chance to hit the mages where it will hurt them mo
st. The pain doesn’t last long, just long enough to be a nuisance. Now, everyone else out so Ryder can help me get dressed for dinner. It might be our last meal together for a while, and I’d like to enjoy it with you, so out.”

  Two hours later, I sat beside Ryder as his brothers told their mates of random battles they had fought, excluding details that were hard for them to speak about. The entire table was filled with family, our family. Savlian and Sevrin spoke at the same time, recanting battles where they’d changed places on patrol or did something else to piss Ryder off. Cailean snorted, shaking his head as he laughed over the story Ristan told Olivia.

  Blane and Remy told Ryder of the places they’d hidden from the horde, describing the monsters they’d fought to survive. Blane held Fury on his lap, feeding him morsels of meat while Ciara fed Phoenix, laughing, then eyes wide in horror from the details of the creatures they’d faced off against to survive. These beings had gone from enemies to lovers, lovers to friends, and now a family sharing their tales of horror and survival, as if the experiences had been nothing more than trivial events.

  “You’re quiet tonight,” Ryder whispered against my ear huskily. He pushed his hand against my leg before his fingers lifted the skirt I wore, dancing over the inside of my thigh seductively. It sent a ripple of heat racing to my belly, pooling in my sex with need.

  “Look at what you have accomplished as the king,” I stated, turning to look into his beautiful heated gaze.

  He peered around the room as a frown tugged at his lips. “What did I do?”

  “You made me love you, and now I have fallen in love with our family and your world. I’d planned to murder you the first day I met you. Now, I can’t stand the thought of you not being a part of my life. A world without you in it would never make sense to me.”